How many times have you gone on social media and seen motivational and inspirational posts with quotes that go something like this?
“No excuses”
“Be better than you were yesterday”
“Start now”
Here’s the most outlandish one I’ve seen:
“You can only win when your mind is stronger than your emotions.”
While these types of quotes do have inherent value, their underlying messages can seem to point out something within ourselves that’s not quite right. They make us feel that we are not sufficient or strong enough. As a result, people might end up feeling worse about themselves when they read “motivational quotes”.
For example, the quote “Be better than you were yesterday” (and many others with a similar message) recommends one make small improvements each day. This can have a profound impact on people who are strivers and who are already innately motivated to work towards a goal. But there are others who are looking at that same quote and might feel a loss of growth or opportunity with each passing day, despite the good intention behind the words. The quote backfires on the reader.
Another prime example is the famous “just do it” slogan coined by Nike. What if I don’t just do it? Does that mean I’m too scared to try? Unmotivated? Uninspired? Does that mean I’m just not destined for success or that I’m unworthy of it? Motivators want people to feel motivated through words that initiate engagement of an activity, but they can often fail to acknowledge the suckiness of being unmotivated and feeling stuck. Sure, you can try to ignore all hard feelings and loss of worth and “Just do it”, but you will be putting aside the root of the issue and your feelings of being unmotivated will likely fester and grow like a weed. It is shortsighted and you will likely stop after a short surge of action, sometimes we often see with new year’s resolutions.
Something is lost between the motivator and the motivatee, something less tangible than getting from Point A to Point B, which seems to be the focus of many motivators. While to motivate can be to encourage action, I like to focus on motivation as a feeling, where it speaks to people on a deeper level. When we see motivation as a feeling instead of a call to action, we acknowledge that it is temporary and will flow in and out of your being, rather than a thing you did or did not do. You can apply this to being unmotivated as well. You can feel unmotivated and acknowledge that in this moment you feel indifferent or opposed to change or action, but that does not mean you are an unmotivated individual.
Non-runners who look at runners from the outside might think that runners are perpetually motivated with limitless energy. They might want to begin their fitness journey but can’t possibly see or imagine themselves as motivated as the runners they observe. There is a block. You can’t “just do it”. The work seems insurmountable and you label yourself as unmotivated as opposed to feeling unmotivated, a temporary and passing feeling. I can say that I feel unmotivated to go for a run around 50% of the time! I miss and sometimes skip runs, but I also acknowledge all the other aspects of my life that I’m trying to juggle. Sometimes I need to purposefully drop a ball, knowing that I will have a chance to pick it up later. There are also times when life isn’t at its busiest and I can still feel unmotivated to “just do it” And that’s okay!
When we realize the people who inspire us also have bad days and feel unmotivated at times, we can start to see ourselves in our heroes.
When I used to read quotes like the ones I listed at the top of this post, I felt the need to ignore my instincts and shut out parts of myself to push through in completing what I started or starting something new. It created an echo chamber for my negative self-talk which led to trash talking myself. The quotes were a call to action at the expense of my well being. It is a slippery slope that you don’t even realize you’re on because you are focused on the temporary satisfaction of succumbing to your negative self-talk. Needless to say, that is a hazard to our well being and mental health.
When we realize the people who inspire us also have bad days and feel unmotivated at times, we can start to see ourselves in our heroes. When we normalize the inevitable ebb and flow of motivation and passion in others and ourselves, we can start to have more self-compassion. Finally, when we acknowledge the difficulty in what we are trying to accomplish, whatever that may be, we start to realize we are more capable than we give ourselves credit for.
Once we put into practise normalizing struggles and realizing our common humanity, we can move forward feeling less alone, without the constant pressure to always have to push through. Feeling unmotivated is common. It doesn't mean you won't ever achieve your goals! So when you’re feeling this way, I say don’t just do it! Sit with and accept the feelings and then let them pass.
Gotta run!